Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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