How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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