What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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penis

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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