Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Justin with a hat.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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