Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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