how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's white and black? Color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

thumb_up thumb_down -34

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops