when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

penis

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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