How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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