Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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What does? 42

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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