A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

mark is life

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

Frontbut-

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

what did the black women name her child jamaal

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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