why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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A guy walks into a bar

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want more?

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Anybody else hate when people mispell words in jokes It ruins the joke Most them prob some scumbags Probs to Jeffrey K April 12, 2013 1:55 PM

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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