A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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I'm HIV positive.

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops