There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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Your sex life.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Dwight Howard

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops