if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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