Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops