How do you end a sentence

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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pauls tuck

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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