A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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Large 4

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What? Huh?

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops