An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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