As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops