A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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