what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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NASCAR being considered a sport.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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