Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops