What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Anybody else hate when people mispell words in jokes It ruins the joke Most them prob some scumbags Probs to Jeffrey K April 12, 2013 1:55 PM

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Chicken

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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why do you always see black people smoking? because your neighbors are black and they smoke on their porch,a place you can probably see from your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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