\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Homosexualism is so gay man

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops