A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

I have a horse.

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

What is the difference?

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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