Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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