What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops