What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

thumb_up thumb_down +21

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is white and black and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops