Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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