If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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