How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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RUN

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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