a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops