Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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sure!

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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9

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Jovan

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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