Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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