What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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stinky boner

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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