A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Chlamydia

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops