I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

A blind man walks into a wall.

Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

The Big Bang Theory (the show).

Chlamydia

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

How do you make a car? You build it.

Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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