Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

a black guy hates chicken.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

Knock Knock? Come in.

A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

antonis sister is mighty fine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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