A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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I C U P White stuff

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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