How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's stupid a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Donald Trump.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops