Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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