Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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