What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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