What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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hi joshua

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Penis-biter

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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What? Huh?

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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