Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops