Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops