ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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Cripples are lame.

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops