What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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