Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

Cripples are lame.

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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