What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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Whats funny? Your face.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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