How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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