Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Womens rights

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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hi

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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