How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who's gay? Justin Beaver

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Girls Lacrosse.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops