An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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